Today I have a sense of failure. A failure to say ‘no’ enough, and perhaps also a failure to say ‘yes’ enough as well.
Why? Because I have allowed myself to be cajoled into more work than I really want to do. Is it FOMO? Or just wanting to please, again?
Associated with that come the other negative things. Starting off tired, so keeping myself stimulated artificially by unhealthy eating. Not having the time to talk things through, when I really want to do that.
So, not enough time to relax, really reflect, and write a real reflective journal. Oops. But I did have a good experience in this afternoon's collective presencing call. Sensed the two sides of what is in the air at present. Felt that both the fear and sadness, and the sense of excitement, at the chaos in parts of the world is just a representation of the truth. My question is, can we hold it together – in this time of stress, when so many people are being tempted to revert to what seems like a tribalist perspective, can we hold on enough, not only to see it through, but to a better world?
More tomorrow.
Topics: Journal writing; Self-analysis
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